i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
