I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
