he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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