"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
