We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
