batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
