oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
