just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
