Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
