Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
