so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
