I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize