We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
