I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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