Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
its liver damage thursday
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
