Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My bed is full of blood and feathers
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
