Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
