mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize