sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
