I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
