I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
