Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
