So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
