I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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