Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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