We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
