Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
