Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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