I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
