Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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