Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
