Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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