were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize