Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
