Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
