just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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