PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
