That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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