My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
