so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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