thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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