She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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