my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
