I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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