just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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