When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
