I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
