it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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