I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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