question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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