I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize