so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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