My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
