I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
