The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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