rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
