dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
