Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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