Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
