I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
