I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
