FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize